Did you ever watch or read Holes? The thing with Shia Labeouf in a prison camp? Yeah. Well remember that guy from the flashbacks who was obsessed with onions and thought they could do anything? Turns out he was right.
Yeah we know, that’s like the biggest twist since Darth Vader told Luke about his parentage. Onions are great… maybe even better than coconuts which, seemingly, can do everything you need doing from clearing spots to paying off your overdraft.
But back to onions. What can they do. Well, they can…
1. Cure the cold.
Well, we say cure… basically, if you were to boil onions into some sort of tea, rumour has it that your cold (or at least the symptoms) would be a thing of the past. The same results can also be achieved by eating some raw onions but… who wants to do that?
2. Treat a Fever.
Gone are the days when you had a temperature and all you could do was resort to exhausting your supply of “cold things”. Ice packs, peas, cold baths, etc… It turns out all you need to do to kick a fever is steal the hat of the mountain wizard of Kathuul! Failing that, you can slice an onion up and stick a slice in your sock (which, to be honest, seems equally ridiculous).
The onion absorbs the bad stuff that comes with a fever, leaving you onion-y fresh.
3. Make a plaster.
Cut yourself when you’re slicing onions? Well don’t stop! Pack one of those weird membrane-y bits of the onion and place that on top of your cut. Naturally, if you’ve like lost a finger or something, it’s probably best not to leave your recovery to vegetables, go to a hospital.
Just be careful, it stings a little.
4. Soothe them pesky burns.
Burn yourself cooking onions? Well stop for a minute! Get yourself a slice of raw onion and place it on said burn for two minutes, coat in egg-white (as the protective barrier), wrap in bacon and bake for 30 minutes at 280 degrees… OK not the last two bits, but do coat in egg white and bandage with gauze. Also works with sunburn – yay.
5. Get that grit outta yo eye, son.
Cutting onions is a joke. But even so, you can use that to your advantage! If you get a bit of grit in your eye from, I don’t know, fighting some kind of rock monster, you should get a knife and start cutting away at the ol’ onions. The tears will soon wash the pain away.
6. Bee stings? Pfft.
If you get a sting, remove the stinger and apply a slice of white onion to the pain zone. It will reduce the swelling and draw out the venom!
7. Stop earaches.
Earaches, eh? The most ignored of all the ailments. All the same, they’re rubbish. But fear not because a vegetable can cure them and that vegetable is, you guessed it… carrots. Not really, it’s obviously ONIONS.
Shove a lil’ bit of onion in there will decrease the pain and soften the wax!
8. Have away with that sore throat!
Would you believe that onions in cough syrup have been proven to be highly effective to treat a sore throat? Mix those bad boys with a bit of honey to improve taste as both have properties to heal.
And did you know you can also cook them?! We recommend sautéing in a little olive oil.
Tell us what you think in the comments!