This Is How Much It Costs To Own A Vagina

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Vaginas, eh? Either you’re born with one or you’re not. But those of you who happen to be blessed with a vayjayjay, may not realise quite how much the little lady is costing you. 

Guarantor loan company, Buddy Loans, have taken it upon themselves to clunge, sorry plunge,  into the world of female spending. They’ve estimated that having a vagina costs between £849.96 and £1369.99 a year.

How have they reached this staggering figure?

Firstly, they added up how much women fritter away on luxury items such as tampons each month. They then factored in what they reckon the high-dose painkillers necessary to get through this ‘luxurious’ time of the month will set you back.

With periods costed up, they then looked at anti-itch cream. While it’s perfectly fine (ish) for a guy to scratch his balls in public, it’s not yet considered socially appropriate for a woman to tickle her lady garden. Instead, she has to sneak into her local Boots, and purchase a tube of vagisil, which tingles the pain away.

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Next comes pube-grooming. While blokes can get away with a quick trim with a pair of nail scissors, women spend upwards of £10.99 a month on keeping their snail trails smooth.

Then the more serious stuff. Although abortions are free in England, they are still illegal in Northern Ireland.  For the 2000 women who have this procedure every year, the cost combined with travel can reach up to £1310.

Who knew the modern day vag was so expensive, eh?