You know when you’re swiping away on Tinder and you see someone that looks perfect. Just what you think you need in your life. You talk to them for a bit and arrange somewhere to meet. You wait patiently for them to arrive and when they do, you slowly walk up to them trying to look as cool as possible. And then… only then. You lean into them. Adrenaline taking over but you’re still calm. You whisper “let’s do this” and then you punch them square in the face.
Sorry sorry. Not Tinder… Rumblr. We always get them confused.
Yeah because there’s an app for that now. Fan-dabby-tastic, right?!
This is the header on their website…
Okay we’re by no means fighting experts but, by their very nature, fights result in casualties… that’s very much the point of them, no? Also that looks like the worst fight ever and who’s paying to take part in fights?! The fact that Rumblr is free should not be an advert.
You can use the app to swipe around and choose people to fight as well as put in details like height, weight and experience to make sure the fight is fair. But also “You don’t need to fight to use Rumblr. With Rumblr Explore, anyone can browse and attend fights close by that other Rumblr users have arranged – all for free!” There’s even categories such as gang fights and girl fights…
And look! The kind folk at Rumblr a nice enough to leave tips… just in case you’re knew to talking smack!
Because, sure, fight until the sun goes down and then back up, maybe put a few people in hospital and fight a court case but you damn well watch your language!
Pathetic. Genuinely. We’re not even going to try and look impartial here. An app that brings “brawl enthusiasts“, otherwise known as “sexually frustrated morons who probably try to scare the McDonald’s cashiers out of a free cheeseburger” together is no friend of humanity’s.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!