You can breathe a sigh of relief guys, because Ellen DeGeneres has definitively solved the Starbucks Christmas Crisis.
Usually the seasonal Starbucks cups put the Christ into Christmas. They feature traditional biblical images – like the snowmen and snowflakes that Jesus no doubt enjoyed at his home in Israel.
But this year, Starbucks have decided to proverbially spit on the little baby Jesus, and forgo the Christmas pictures.
In a statement, the coffee makers said they wanted to “create a culture of belonging, inclusion and diversity”, and welcome “customers from all backgrounds and religions in [its] stores around the world.”
Heathens. They probably want us to call it Winterval too.
Ellen DeGeneres certainly agrees. On her show she recently referred to the cups as ‘Satan Sippers’, but don’t despair, because she’s invented something to fill the festive-vacuum that is your local Starbucks.
Holiday Vision Glasses. All you have to do it put them on, and all you’ll see is Christmas. Problem solved.
You can watch her hilarious take down of the controversy here:
And to be fair, most Christians probably don’t subscribe to the idea that these Starbucks cups are offensive:
I am Christian. I don’t think the red cups are offensive. And I don’t care if you say happy holidays to me. I’m offended this is an issue.
— Jen Connic (@jenconnic) November 9, 2015