A good rule of thumb – if a pervy-looking dentist tells you that he’s “going to put something in [your] mouth that would taste funny, but would stop the bleeding”, and that something smells like semen, then keep your lips tightly closed.
Because while most dentists are professionals and would never dream of squirting their own juices into a patient’s mouth, there’s always one guy who has to spoil it for the rest.
Dr John Hall was one such weirdo. Arrested in 2004 for, yes, injecting his own semen into patients’ mouths, and telling them to swallow it, he spent four months in prison, and had his dentistry licence revoked.
End of story, right? Dr John Hall has to keep his semen to himself from now on, and patients can rest safe in the knowledge that the only thing that’ll be squirted into their mouths from now on will be FDA approved.
Well, no. John Hall just tried to reopen a dentistry clinic in Belize, and got dangerously close to succeeding.
Running various adverts in local newspaper, The San Pedro Sun, Hall acquired office space and then staff, before advertising the grand opening of his new Belize practice – The Oceanside Dental Clinic.
Although it’s notoriously difficult to get a dental licence out there – as the country prefers its own citizens to get the higher paid jobs – John managed, under a slight pseudonym, to get himself certified.
All this aroused the suspicion of Tamara Sniffin, editor of The San Pedro Sun. She had begun to receive emails from concerned citizens who had stumbled across Hall’s perverted past, and although she forwarded these onto The Ministry of Health, nothing was done.
Eventually, she took matters into her own hands. As she told Vice:
“On the morning of [December] 7, I went to the San Pedro Police Department, armed with a folder full of printed articles and info on the deviant, disgusting behaviour of Dr. Hall.
There was no way in hell I was going to let that pervert touch one person on this island and I thank those who brought it to our attention and worked with us on shutting this creep down.”
Thankfully, the police took notice. They arrested Hall for “making false representation”, and shut his clinic down. He’s currently lying low in Belize, awaiting his February court date, and still protests his innocence:
“I never thought I would be ridiculed, cussed at, and made fun of with harmful threats to me and my dog based on assumptions instead of facts.
When I was accused of a disgusting and absurd action of placing semen in patient’s mouths. I did not do what I was accused of doing!”
Come on guys. Leave the dog alone!