Since starring as the high-kick wielding, eleven-year-old Hit Girl in Kick-Ass, we always suspected we’d want Chloe Grace Moretz on our team if anything seriously bad was about to happen to the earth.
In her new film, The 5th Wave, the words “seriously bad” are a bit of an understatement when it comes to the predicament of the world as we know it. In short, some pesky aliens appear and go all rouge landlord: kicking humans out as if they’ve been the worst tenants ever via five deadly waves of f*ck off.
Chloe said it was actually a “harrowing film to make”:
“We were so isolated in the woods most of the time. It was scary to have that amount of distance between you and civilization and to put yourself in the mindset of Cassie (her character)… She’s far from any human contact, civilization – that’s all been taken away from her. It’s more a kind of a looming doom that you feel.“
So with the memories of this “looming doom” fresh in her mind, I decided to put Chloe up against her hardest challenge yet – my own devilishly devised ‘Would You Survive An Alien Invasion?’ quiz. And she thought surviving five waves of make-believe alien attack was frightening…
JL: “Do you think of yourself as a wimp in general, or are you actually pretty brave?”
CGM: “I’m pretty brave. I’m not afraid of heights, I’d jump out of an aeroplane, I’d base jump, I walk a very thin line sometimes so I don’t think that I have a lot of fear. Oh, but if you put a spider in front of my face, I can’t say what I’d do…”
Chloe 1 – Alien 0 (unless they come in spider form, then she’s f*cked)
JL: “So imagine it’s just before the First Wave (where the aliens stop all electricity and planes start falling out of the sky) and someone tips you off that it’s the last time you’re going to be able to do the following, what do you:”
CGM: “How to make a fire”
Song you’d listen to?
CGM: “Coldplay – Green Eyes”
Place you’d visit?
CGM: “Bora Bora, it’s so secluded, we could hopefully work out a way to avoid the virus (spoiler alert).”
Chloe 2 – Aliens 0 (Innovative use of Google and holiday destination)
JL: “Now things are starting to get pretty serious… electricity’s gone, sh*t’s really starting to hit the fan and you notice that a giant spaceship is hovering over your house… what’s the first thing you’d do?”
CGM: “Gather a lot of water and plastic bags and get the hell out of there.”
Chloe 2 – Aliens 1 (Water and plastic bags? What are you going to do girl, make some kind of plastic bag canoe and float back to the safety of Bora Bora?!)
JL: “A mystery illness befalls half of the country, and you find out your best friend is in line to be packed off to quarantine. Do you visit her to say one last goodbye?”
CGM: “I’d find a way to yell at her from far enough away, I would definitely want to say goodbye to my best friend before she’s quarantined. “
Chloe 3 – Aliens 1 (Compassion mixed with a good ‘safety first’ attitude).
JL: “You decide it’s time to leg it, and make your way into the forest for safety with your family. Do you know how to make a fire with two sticks, or could you tell where you are or where to go without using a compass?”
CGM: “I can’t make a fire with two sticks, but I’d find shelter and hunt and gather some veggies. I have some minimal ‘what plants should you eat in case of a plane crash in the woods’ skills because I used to be obsessed with what happens if your plane crashes, and you’re in the woods what would you do to survive. I was always afraid I’d be in a plane crash… Very morbid. I know a lot of stupid things, which fungus you can eat and what you can’t eat. What bad and good plants look like.”
Chloe 4 – Aliens 1 (She might not be able to cook the food, but at least she wouldn’t go hungry.)
JL: You find yourself in a weapon factory, what weapon do you plump for to defend yourself?
CGM: Ooo a bazooka. Definitely, just a bazooka, I think I could kill some crazy stuff with a bazooka. It’s not a very smart weapon though as the ammunition is very heavy and the whole thing is very heavy, but I could make some kind of cart to carry it in.”
Chloe 5 – Aliens 1 (We’d expect nothing less from the former ‘Hit-Girl’)
JL: It’s just you and your little brother left, and you spot something suspicious in the woods. You start running, but your little brother drops his favourite toy. Do you go back for it or not?
CGM: It sounds bad, but I would not go back for the toy. First inclination, whenever I think like I lost my credit card or whatever I hardly ever go back for it because I’m worried about the current circumstance and what’s going on, like, have people stolen my things. So I’m worried if I went back they might be trying to trick me. I’m very paranoid in an antiquated way.
Chloe 6 – Aliens 1 (I’m not sure the credit card example is relevant, but a good level of paranoia will go a long way when fighting off an alien invasion)
JL: You meet a guy in your journey to safety, he’s your first real crush but he goes in for your first kiss 10 minutes before the rescue helicopters are leaving… Do you go for it or say “Dude, there’s probably a better time for this.”
CGM: No, no, just in case, who never know what’s going to happen. Always live in the moment, or you might regret it. Who knows, even if it isn’t the end, it’s still worth it.
Chloe 6 – Aliens 2 (Oh Chloe, you old romantic, I understand your passion, but this is a sure-fire way to get a can of alien whoopass)
JL: It’s the end. You’re face-to-face with one of these alien beasts. They offer you a lifetime of space exploration but you have to conform to their evil alien ways, and assume their form – a giant space slug. The alternative is certain death – what do you do?
CGM: Hmm. Depends how immediate the transformation is. If there was an incubation period where I could break free, I would say, yeah totally sure I’ll come on your crazy alien adventure. But then I’d go out of captivity but then I’d break free and kill them all [laughs evilly].
Chloe 7 – Aliens 2
It’s safe to say, this girls got some serious guts, as well as some pretty weird and unexpected survival skills. You can check out Chloe in all of her butt-kicking alien glory in cinemas from January 22.
Chloe’s other new film, DARK PLACES also opens at cinemas on 22nd January 2016, courtesy of Entertainment One.