Trying to be cool when you were a kid was always one of life’s biggest trials. How convincingly could you do it and could you keep it up?
When I was like 12, I once spent a whole day at school pretending to limp with a grimace on my face. I genuinely thought it was a good look – I was a proper idiot.
Luckily for me, back then people didn’t film things and upload them to the internet as much as they do now so I was safe from global judgement…
The badass kids aren’t!!!!!!
1. Mikey Bloat’s face is my favourite thing ever.
2. She will be sorry when the FBI catch her and shoot her.
3. Only the best weed, though – none of the not good stuff.
4. And after they’ve made love to you and you stay the night, you’ll wear his Bart Simpson shirt to work the next day.
5. I hear he’s from the west side…
6. He’s either the highest one man has ever been OR a master of photoshop…
7. You know when your mum used to hold the phone with her shoulder and ear? He’s done that with added cool!
8. I real man wears intimidating clothes and deals in ultimatums.
9. But just the one.
10. I respect a man who has his priorities sorted out…
11.That’s like $25. CASH.
12. Not mum?!
13. There is literally no smoke coming out of it. Also someone had to go into the cubicle with him to take that…
15. Literally every bit of this picture is the best thing in the world (after Mikey Bloat’s face).
16. Looks like he has a nokia strapped to his left arm.
17. “Yeah. Say sax really fast and it sounds like sex! F*ck yeah, b*tches!!!”
18. At least… at least he’s not a selfish lover..?
19. He’s clearly related to Mikey Bloat.
20. It looks like her photoshopped the hat on… also, why do Superman vests come in that size? Is it supposed to be ironic?”
21. “Jared, honey. If you’re going to take more pictures with mummy’s vodka, make sure you don’t open it. I need it to make appletini’s.”
22. Damn… that’s a big weed.