Birds are gorgeous, majestic creatures that soar through the sky, reminding us to never stop dreaming. But if you’re anything like Gaudy, they simply piss you off like nothing else in this world ever could.
Two months ago, the person behind one of the most popular Tumblr blogs made a post, listing all of the birds they have serious problems with. From the Dracula Parrot to the Secretarybird, Gaudy hilariously explained what they don’t like about them, concluding, “These birds exist to haunt me and this knowledge is a burden.” (Not) surprisingly, many people agreed. As of this article, the list has over 88K notes on Tumblr and has been reposted on numerous other platforms. To each their own, I guess.
Image credits: Danny Ye/shutterstock
The Dracula parrot is a nickname for the Pesquet’s parrot found only in New Guinea. Because of its unique beauty, however, the bird has become a target for poachers. The Dracula parrot is hunted for its feathers which are used in ceremonial dresses, for meat, and for the caged pet bird trade. But its problems don’t end there. Deforestation and the loss of habitat also contribute to the decline of the parrot’s population.
Image credits: Olaf Oliviero Riemer
The King Vulture is a large bird found in Central and South America. These birds glide on air currents, conserving energy while searching the forests or savanna below for the corpses of dead animals. But due to their eating habits, they fill an ecological niche and may help to prevent the spread of disease by disposing of rotting remains.
Some suggest that the bird’s name comes from an old Mayan legend where this vulture was a “king” or “lord” that carried messages between humans and the Gods.
Image credits: Charl Stols Photography
Image credits: Derek Keats
The Jacana is a colorful waterbird with long legs, toes, and claws. When spread, the super-long toes allow it to distribute its weight over a large area and walk across floating vegetation, especially lily pads.
When strolling around, the Jacana often appears to be walking on the water itself! This earned it the nickname Jesus bird.
Image credits: hiyang.on.flickr
Image credits: Jin Kemoole
The Shoebill lives in tropical east Africa in large swamps and is named for its clog-shaped bill, which is an adaptation for catching and holding its favorite food — the large, slippery lungfish. This large bird also eats turtles, fish, and young crocodiles. Sounds terrifying? Yeah, it is. But it also makes cool machine-gun noises, so… yay Shoebill?
Image credits: Kitty Terwolbeck
This bird occupies part of the same habitat ruled by the ancient Inca Empire in South America. It is probably most famous for its dashing white mustache, which is found on both males and females.
Image credits: Tony Hisgett
The Temminck’s Tragopan cock is an extremely bright-colored bird, rocking a rich red-and-orange plumage smothered with whitish dots. It has a blue face surrounded with black, and absolutely incredible inflatable dark-blue lappet and horns.
The Temminck’s tragopan is found across the mountains of far northeast India, central China, far northern Myanmar to northwestern Tonkin. For once, let’s celebrate the fact that it is a widespread and common species, evaluated as Least Concern on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species.
Image credits: scooperdigital
Image credits: Rudi Luyten
The Secretary is a large African bird related to hawks and eagles. It got its name because of its quill-like crests on the back of its head that resemble 18th-century clerks with pens tucked into their wigs. But this predatory bird has another distinctive feature — long, prominent eyelashes that makeup models would kill for.
It’s also absolutely savage. A Secretary bird’s main food is snakes, supplemented by lizards, grasshoppers, mice, and birds’ eggs. It hunts on foot, in pairs or small groups that keep in contact by hooting. They kill snakes by stamping or flailing them against the ground, sometimes dropping them from aloft.
Image credits: swabianne
A parakeet is any one of many small to medium-sized species of parrot, in multiple genera, that generally have long tail feathers. This one, though, could be someone else’s tail altogether.
Here’s what people said about the hilarious list